she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
