I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
