The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
