i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
