You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
