i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
