Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
