so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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