So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
