the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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