What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
