oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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