you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Dick very happy bro
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
