We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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