you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
