we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
the room spins SO much faster in panama
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
