He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
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