How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
