; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
