He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
