i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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