All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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