Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Randomize
