he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Randomize
