Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i wish my penis had a tongue
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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