I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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