dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
