he thought i was a dude.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
