Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
