He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I know her cup size but not her name....
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