I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
