10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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