I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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