Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
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