She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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