Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
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