She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
