thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
