Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
