I'm laying in your front yard are you home
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
You ate ashes out of my bong
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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