I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
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