Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
