Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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