My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
