well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
