East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Pooping to opera.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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