This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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