nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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