hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
