im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Randomize
